Roddy’s story

When I was diagnosed with glaucoma, he compared me to Beethoven going deaf.

I tried to stay relaxed, although I did get a little tense at times.

It’s a huge relief.

I just want to be told everything is fine and come back in a few months.

When I was diagnosed with glaucoma in 2004, I was already pursuing a number of photography-related activities. I was a freelance editorial photographer for a magazine and made fine monochrome prints that were exhibited and sold in galleries. I was also writing and lecturing on the history of photography, and in my spare time, I enjoyed being a recreational runner.

Since my glaucoma diagnosis, I have continued all these activities, though with a few changes, as priorities have shifted now I’m older. I’ve had two books on photography published, held a solo exhibition of my work in Edinburgh and won a bronze medal in the 800m race for over 70s at the Scottish Athletics Masters Championship, to name but a few. My glaucoma diagnosis hasn’t stopped me from having aspirations and achieving goals as before.

It’s been a strange, even introspective experience reading back through my diary extracts about having glaucoma. It has also been quite compelling, as I had forgotten so much of it. And of course, my journey with glaucoma continues.

30 September 2003
I went to the optician to have my eyes tested. I thought it was going to be straightforward but was in for a surprise. The test was very thorough like last time. I have been happy with my glasses and didn’t think there would be much change, but the optometrist explained that I may have glaucoma in my left eye. It was a shock and totally unexpected. I must go back for another test, and then I will have to see my GP and go to the eye clinic. I was slightly stunned. Although if it is glaucoma, it is at an early stage and there is usually effective treatment.

30 October 2003
I received notice of my appointment at the eye clinic, but it’s not until 9 December, which is a long time away. I’m very concerned about my eyesight. Everything I do needs good vision and the magnitude of it deteriorating or losing my sight is frightening. I find it preoccupying me, and it was so unexpected. But I must try not to dwell on it and allow myself to be discouraged, although it is difficult. I’ve got to be more positive, put it at the back of my mind and carry on as usual. Easier said than done, but I must try.

9 December 2003
Maggie [my wife] drove me to the eye clinic. I had various tests before seeing the consultant. My left eye, or the nerve at the back of it, showed the signs of glaucoma, but the pressure in the eye was low. The consultant decided to treat it as glaucoma with drops and have another look in a couple of months. He is also sending me for a CT scan to check on the neural pathways, but as a non-urgent appointment – he said he has no concerns and it’s only a precaution. I was a little puzzled as it wasn’t entirely conclusive, but I felt he had been thorough. The good news is that my right eye is perfectly healthy.

10 February 2004
I had my appointment with the consultant, who confirmed the situation. The drops have lowered the pressure in my left eye which, although normal, may have been too high for me. It should stabilise and prevent any other field of vision deterioration. The CT scan has not revealed any problem with the neural pathways. The consultant concluded that I had some glaucoma and asked again whether it runs in the family. I asked him whether my mother would have known she had it, as she had retinitis pigmentosa. He thought probably not. He told me I would have to inform vehicle licencing and my car insurer, because of the loss of field of vision. The enormity began to sink in with this news. I have just tried to carry on as normal, with some success. I can function perfectly well with this level of vision as long as I have no problems with my right eye. But I have permanently lost a significant part of my sight. Not a particularly encouraging realisation.

7 November 2007
I got my eyes tested at the Opticians. My prescription has changed, and I ordered a new set of frames. I had a chat with the owner, who told me something rather touching. He said that when I was diagnosed with glaucoma, he compared me to Beethoven going deaf. He lived for music, and for me it was photography. An honour to be in such company, but more pleased the glaucoma has stabilised.

8 February 2008
The results of my tests are rather alarming. My left eye has significantly deteriorated, although I have not been aware of it. The consultant I saw is concerned and is sending me for an MRI scan. She does not expect it to show anything but wants to be sure that nothing is growing and putting pressure on the nerve. I was a little stunned when I came away and felt glad Maggie was driving me, as it wasn’t what I had expected. I thought I had stabilised.

11 July 2008
The consultant is running out of options after the MRI scan was clear. There are other options but first I have to spend a day at the clinic doing phasing, which is the hourly taking of pressures.

7 August 2008
Today was the day of phasing, where they took my eye pressures every hour from 8.30am to 4.30pm. It wasn’t as big a drag as I expected. I mostly read and finished a couple of publications, A Hundred Years of Photography and The Fine Art of Photography. The latter was particularly good.

6 October 2009
It was the usual routine of fields test, pressures and meeting with the consultant. My left eye continues to gradually deteriorate. She doesn’t know why and has tried everything. I have to make an appointment for another six months. She mentioned the left eye may have been too far gone from the start, which I don’t think is the case. I think I need a second opinion.

28 January 2010
Went to another eye clinic for a second opinion. They ran lots of tests. The consultant confirmed that the digital images of the optical nerve showed that I had glaucoma in both eyes. She said I’m on optimal drops and she’s not recommending any change. She said there is surgery available but only if things get worse. She recommended that I continue with my consultant at my usual eye clinic and to monitor the situation. I didn’t really expect anything different, although I may have hoped for it. I will just have to keep taking the medication and hope that there is no more deterioration. I pray that it doesn’t start to affect my right eye. That would have really serious implications!

25 July 2013
The consultant is concerned about deterioration in my left eye and wants to do an operation to regulate the pressure. I was rather stunned – not really about the operation, but the gradual deterioration of my eyesight. Not a comforting prospect.

15 September 2013
Received the letter which gave the basic information about my trabeculectomy. I am not particularly looking forward to it, but it has to be done. I’ve got to rely on the professional medical expertise.

8 October 2013
We were in just after 7.30am. Things happened quickly as I was second on the theatre list. The consultant came to see me and told me what would happen. I walked to theatre and had a local anaesthetic which seemed to work quickly, and also had a drip which I was not expecting. I went into theatre about 9.30am and was out by 10.50am. It was a long time to stay still but I tried to stay relaxed, although I did get a little tense at times. The trabeculectomy seemed to go well. I was wheeled back to the ward in a chair and rested on my bed for a while. It was over and I had been resigned to it despite some uncertainties, because you have to go along with the professional advice. I felt discomfort in my eye but no real pain. It was what had been described to me as grittiness.

9 October 2013
I got discharged just after 1.00pm. The staff nurse gave me a series of eye drops that I have to take and explained what I must do over the next few weeks. It’s good to be home, but I feel a little fragile. I sat in the living room listening to the radio and even managed to doze. I was having trouble doing my numerous drops because I couldn’t see out of my left eye, so got Maggie to do them. I think I was feeling a little sorry for myself.

13 October 2013
Maggie bathed my eye and did the first set of eye drops. My lack of activity is getting me down a bit and not being able to go any further than the garden, but I have to be patient and stay positive. My eye seems to be improving. If I sit still for a while, the blur clears significantly. I can even do drops into that eye, which will be useful when Maggie is not around.

17 October 2013
Maggie drove to the eye clinic. I was relaxed but a little apprehensive. I could see more with my left eye in the tests than expected. The consultant seemed satisfied with the operation. He said I could go out but no exertion. I was reassured and pleased I could get some fresh air.

14 November 2013
My appointment with the consultant wasn’t great. I just want to be told everything is fine and come back in a few months. But there is scar tissue, and he wants me to go for needling to remove it. The pressure is 17 and removing the scar tissue will get it down. I was a bit upset that it was being prolonged, but not much I can do about it.

18 November 2013
The consultant put various drops in my eye and did the needling, which was a little uncomfortable. The hardest part was staying still. He seemed to be pleased and said I had done well.

21 November 2013
The consultant checked pressures and told me the operation had worked, which was good news. I feel he’s very assured and instinctive, and I have confidence in him.

20 February 2014
I had a fields test and the consultant was pleased with it, and the pressures. He mentioned having a trabeculectomy in my right eye. I was a little surprised because my right eye is stable and has no loss of vision. I don’t think I would consider an operation unless the field of vision began to deteriorate like the left eye.

20 February 2015
Maggie drove me to my eye check-up. I hadn’t noticed any changes and was confident. It was straightforward and everything was stable. Long may it continue! I mentioned to the consultant that I had joined IGA [now known as Glaucoma UK]. He wants me to get involved with their buddy scheme and I said I’d be willing. Despite everything going well, I felt a bit drained afterwards.

7 September 2017
My tests seemed straightforward. The consultant confirmed everything was stable, but that I have the start of cataracts in both eyes. There’s no need to do anything at the moment as they’re not bothering me. But if and when it becomes a problem with blurriness and diminishing of colour, I need to let him know and he will operate.

11 November 2021
I felt unusually relaxed about my appointment. I was perhaps too relaxed as didn’t feel I did too well in my eye test and fields test. Everyone observed the two minutes silence. I saw another consultant who was concerned about the pressure in my left eye and the start of loss of field of vision in my right. However, she did say it may just have been a one-off. She wants my usual consultant to see me in five months. It was a real downer especially as I have been so used to coming away with everything stable. However, I did reflect that I am 73 and still a lot better than many others.

10 March 2022
The consultant is happy that everything is stable with the pressures in my eyes. There’s also no sign of field of vision loss in my right eye, so the results of my previous visit were indeed a one-off. It’s a huge relief.

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